Letter to my daughter

                                                                                                                                                

Dear Everly,                                                                        2/20/15

Happy birthday! I know you are celebrating with your new friends and are experiencing a joy that we can’t even comprehend here on earth. I feel like there was so much more you and I had to do together. You were my little girl, my little baby and most days my doll. There were some things I never got to tell you. I need to tell you now.

Did you know that my favorite parts of the day were waking you up when you would smile so big to see me and then when it was just you and I alone together at night when I would catch up on school stuff for the boys with you snug in the crook of my arm? 

Did you know that one of favorite things to do was to take you to therapy on Wednesdays so I could watch you shine? 

Did you know that I loved, loved your baby body? Your hook pinky, your crooked toe, the way you would arch your right eyebrow when you really studied something or were interested? Your round belly and skinny legs, perfect for your skinny jeans. 

Did you know that you were fearfully and wonderfully made by God who holds you now? 

Did you know how truly perfect you were? God made you absolutely perfect.

Did you know that I secretly loved when you wrangled your NG tube out of your nose? It showed your fighter instinct and your defiance together.

Did you know how much fun it was for me to plan and decorate your room, banners, parties and even today it was my honor and privilege to make your celebration just right for you? It was an act of love for you.

Did you know that the only part of Trisomy 18 I loved was that you were like my little snuggly newborn your entire life? Holding you in my arms never got old. 

Did you know that painting your nails and dressing you up was a special bonding you and I shared daily, sometimes multiple times?

Did you know that I would have gone back to the hospital with you every day of your life if that’s what it took to keep you healthy?

Did you know that I would have continued to stand up for what you needed and the kind of care you deserved?

Did you know that Papa was growing his beard out so you could reach up and grab it like you liked to do?

Did you know that Nana put you and the boys before anything else in her life? 

Did you know that you had Daddy completely wrapped around your little fingers and probably toes, too?

Did you know that mommy would have done anything and I mean anything for you?

My sweet little girl, there is a hole now where you were, and I’m so very thankful for every one of the 340 days God blessed us with you. While we are selfish and wanted you to remain with us, we know in our hearts that you were only to be with us a short time. We are grateful for our time together and grateful beyond measure for the memories we have of you. You rest with Jesus and when it’s time, we will each come to see you. Until then, please continue to send us your love as you have been!


~Mommy